her eyes were the colour of
|me:||makes a mistake|
|me:||thinks about mistake every night for the next 7 years|
having crumbs in your bra is one of the worst feelings in the world
have you ever stepped in a puddle with your socks on?
Have you ever had the dark lord scar you and kill your parents when you were a baby
Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
have you ever just wanted an oscar so bad
So I’m at an old cafe by the beach alone and I got up to use the restroom and buy a croissant. When I returned this was in my book ~
You know when people say “What’s the alternative to cat-calling?” This. This is the alternative.
THIS IS ALL I WANT IN LIFE.
I don’t think I have ever shipped anything so hard in my life!
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.
JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.
“tumblr is like an inside joke with a bunch of people you don’t even know” -my brother
he doesn’t even have tumblr and he nailed it
today my brother decided to sum up tumblr AGAIN except even better..
“tumblr..what a perfect name. you’re just wasting time, tumbling. It’s just like rolling down into a bottomless pit”
guys hE KNOWS TOO MUCH
ABORT OUR COVER IS BLOWN